do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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