So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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