Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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