If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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