You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
