didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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