i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
