I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
