I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
