I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
