can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
