There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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