I wannas sexs uuuuu
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
