he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
