she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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