Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize