For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
