I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
