Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
