My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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