OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
