just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
