so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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