im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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