i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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