Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
