Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize