i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
