He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
