so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
