Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
