a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
