grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
