I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
