When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize