I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
