walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
