Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
