can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
