I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
