im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
