The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
