My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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