just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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