Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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