found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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