Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
