you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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