Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
