We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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