God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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