Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
