please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
