dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
