I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's paint friendship bongs
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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