honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
