Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
