i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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