I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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