Its about making memories worth repressing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
