oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
