I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
