I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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