I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
