WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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