if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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