No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
