let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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