she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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