I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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