Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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