Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize