just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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