yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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