If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
