Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
