I think my vagina is haunted
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
