Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
