Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
