whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
