Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
